7 STEPS TO STOP AND ELIMINATE ENVY

7 steps to eliminate envy

I have an embarrassing confession to make.

Ok, here it goes: I have an acquittance whom I ‘ve envied since I met her when I was 18. She was so perfect in so many ways, you know, she was so beautiful with the perfect features and body every woman [at any age] would die for.

As we grew older, I found her on social media and … ok ok I mean I started stalking her a bit and not surprisedly, she became successful in every spectrum of her life. It seems she has everything I wanted in life for myself. The lifestyle, the successful business[es] and for f#$k sake, she’s even a model! AHH! can my life be any more boring and ordinary but most of all unsuccessful?  

But with every moment of envy, my self-worth shrank.

This person, let’s name her ‘Lucy’ was not the only person I envy. There’s a lot more successful and prettier women out there. I was stuck in comparing myself with others and with every moment of envy, my self-worth shrank.

So I stop following ‘Lucy’, unsubscribed from her blog, avoided any campaign she did as a model and tried my hardest to forget I even knew this girl. But honestly, it didn’t work. I find myself wishing I had her life. Fast forward a few more years, a sudden event triggered a memory of her. I wonder what amazing things she must be doing in her life right now because I was still doing nothing with my own.

I realized that unfollowing her on social media was not enough. I needed to discover how I can stop and eliminate envy.

1. Know this: social media shows only the good never necessary the bad.

Let’s face it, I don’t know how hard she has worked to get to this point.

She is still human and therefore perhaps [and most likely] she has felt ‘never good enough‘ too. This was a good realization for me.

2.  Write down details of her life you are envious about.

List at least 100 points and be as detailed as possible on a piece of paper [NOT in your journal, I will tell you why later]. Bring everything out of your system.

At the end of this exercise, you might feel like a total shit. Be aware and acknowledge your feelings.

3. Ask why are you envious of that person.

Perhaps with the exercise above, you may come up with the core reason[s] about what you really want in life. For example, the surface of the envy is – her great body, but what I desire is to feel f#%king sexy as sin.

Write them down. In this exercise, curiosity is key. Dig at the WHY, question everything. [HINT: Focus on feeling words. Ask – ‘In having …. how do I really want to feel.

Which, in my example; I want to feel sexy.

4. Cutting the cord ritual.

Yes, it is time for some practical magic. Make a ritual out of it.

With the envy list, place that paper in front of you.

Imagine her in your mind.

Imagine there is a cord that somehow bound you two together.

Out loud, set the intention, “you do not have power over me.”

Then imagine yourself cutting the cord that bounds you to her.

Burn the list, tear it up, bury it, whatever it takes, and with a free heart release yourself.

5. Use envy as inspiring.

With an open and free heart. Choose to switch your mindset of envy to inspiring.

6. Inspired action game plan.

Back to point 3, choose one desired outcome.

Then list as many ways you can achieve the life you deserve.

For example; to feel sexy – healthy eating, exercise, yoga, smoothies, etc …

[Do you see where I’m getting at?]

7. Change

There’s a saying, ‘nothing’s going to change if nothing changes.’

Decide now that you are willing to change and change is happening NOW.

Ok beautiful, I would love to hear your story…

  • Is there someone that triggers you?
  • What emotions did your journaling exercise brought up?

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xo Lyn