I'm married to a man who has like has millions of friends. At first, I thought "wow, I'm going to have heaps of friends too!" I was excited at the idea that I'm going to more party, dinners and attending to MORE social events. But I forgot... I'm socially awkward. I am a classic case of a wallflower.
A few reasons why it was important for me not to be this weirdo that my husband married:
Firstly, I wanted Greg to feel proud of me, and not have his friends judge me behind his back. Secondly, I want to show him I'm making every effort to be in the clique. Third, I wanted to be accepted. Um... no we're not in high school, at that time most of us were pushing 30 and some with kids.
In 2016, we were invited to a few weddings and I was loathing the idea of it all.
I'm a grown ass woman and I don't need to put myself in a situation that will trigger my esteem to be shot back to zero when I've worked so hard to build myself up.
On the other hand, I was excited to dress up and to feel pretty.
It's not that I don't like Greg's friends - let's just get that clear. You have your people, I have my people and that 's all good.
Here are my tips on how to be less socially awkward at social events.
Decide to have fun.
I used to over think things like - what if I feel isolated? What if I appeared like I'm anti-social? What if, what if, WHAT IF...!
Get over the "what ifs" and believe in the possibility of fun.
Don't worry about what other people think.
I'm going to sound really rude here but fuck what people think of you.
Accept who you are. I was one of those people who were constantly worried about what people thought of me. It's exhausting! Don't you agree? If these people don't like you then it's their problem. They don't pay your bills, they didn't give birth to you, they are not there for you if you need a friend and you don't owe them money. So don't worry hey.
Just go for it. Fuck it! Be you. Chances are people are going to like you or they are not. At the end of the day, they are merely acquaintance and your friends, your true friends love all your quirks.
Be aware of your body posture.
Stand up straight, smile - that's it.
You know the saying; when you look like a million bucks, you feel like a million buck. I have a fav shop here in Australia. I usually find a few pieces I love that I can afford. My fav picks when it comes to fashion is to understand your body type, know what features are your assets, wear vibrant colors and my number one weapon, accessories.
Learn to dive into small talk.
You don't have to do all the talking. My tip for you is to be genuinely curious and ask questions, people love to talk about their self. Keep with the eye contact, smile and nod. Done! You're a pro. People will think you are a great person to talk to.
If you feel like you are going to stab yourself in the eye with a fork, quickly excuse yourself to the buffet, bathroom or find your partner and go to him.
When in doubt, just dance.
The day when I decided to have fun at this wedding, I took the plunge and brave out on the dance floor. I danced with strangers, danced with myself and luckily my husband saved me in the end. I didn't care if I looked like a loser. [ps I could have looked like a loser, I have some mad skill yo!]
Funny enough, the next day, my sister-in-law had mention how much I looked like I was having fun!
I mean, after all, I still felt out of placed, awkward and I was still very much a loner in that party. But I have to admit, I had FUN.